Infantilism
Paraphilic infantilism is the desire to wear
diapers and be treated as a helpless infant.
[Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 529 (IV) or pg 286 (IIIR)] One who engages in infantilistic play is known as an adult baby (AB) or teen baby (TB), depending on age. About one in three adult babies is also a
diaper lover (DL)
[Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 83. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.][Section 10 - Into the Future Retrieved 2002 from http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Island/5861/ds3_s10.txt, now mirrored at http://web.archive.org/web/20010424192400/www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Island/5861/DS3_S10.txt], so they are collectively known as AB/DLs
[Watson, J. (2005, June 9). Baby Man, Phoenix New Times]. The majority of infantilists are heterosexual males
[Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 78. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.].
Infantilism and diaper fetishes differ in
self-image and the focus of attention. However, they can coexist in individuals and have some similarities in practice. Neither include a sexual preference for children. There is no singular,
archetypical infantilism, but a range. Some fantasize about being free of
guilt,
responsibility, or control while others might not. Some act indistinguishably from a baby at times, while others practice in a way that would be unnoticed by passers by on the street. The desires and tastes of infantilists vary around common themes of diapers and babyhood.
One way to describe paraphilic infantilism is to contrast it with a diaper fetish, and this contrast is most clear in
fantasies. Although there is no typical AB/DL fantasy, they often fall within two extremes. One extreme involves the fantasy of being an
infant or small child; adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless. The infant fantasy might involve diapers, baby clothes, and toys to help define the infant's
role. In the end, the infant might drift off to sleep in a soft
crib. The other extreme is the
erotic lover. The lover fantasy would focus on diapers as
fetish items, sexually charged objects. The lover fantasy would end in
orgasm and
ejaculation.
Most individuals who have these fantasies do not seek
psychotherapy [Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 144, ISBN 0871408406][Pate J.E., Gabbard G.O. (2003). Adult baby syndrome Am J Psychiatry 160:1932â€"1936]. According to the
American Psychiatric Association, if there is significant distress or impairment for a period of over six months, paraphilic infantilism or fetishism might be diagnosed, depending on the focus
[Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 569-570]. The urges and fantasies caused by diaper fetishes focus on the diapers themselves, while infantilism focuses on becoming a baby. (Please note that many published cases are only tangentially related
[Pandita-Gunawardena, R. (1990). Paraphilic Infantilism, A Rare Case of Fetishistic Behaviour. British Journal of Psychiatry. 157, 767-770][Mitchell, W. (1954) Epilepsy with Fetishism Relieved by Temporal Lobectomy. Lancet. Vol. II, pp. 626-630][Croarkin, P., Nam, T., Waldrep, D. (November 2004). Comment on Adult Baby Syndrome. Am J Psychiatry 161:2141] to infantilism and diaper fetishism and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias
[Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, 2000 Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pp 568].)
In practice, the distinction between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Those who try to act out the infant fantasy or similar ones are called Adult Babies (ABs). This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, etc
[Baumeister, Roy F. (1989). Masochism and Self, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. pg 159. ISBN 0805804862.]. If their partner is willing, they may engage in mother/baby
roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while they are in the baby role, since it isn't babylike. In contrast, diaper fetishes are much more practical. They may involve adding diapers to otherwise ordinary sexual activities
[Thomas John Speaker, Psychosexual Infantilism in Adults: The Eroticization of Regression. Columbia Pacific University. pg 80. Available from: DPF, Sausalito, CA 94965.]. Those who do are called Diaper Lovers (DLs). Neither are adult baby practices exclusive to paraphilic infantilists, nor diaper lover practices exclusive to diaper fetishists. Many AB/DLs describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which they engage in more frequently. Those with
urophilia and
coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.
To quickly summarize the theoretical differences, adult babies might have paraphilic infantilism
[ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 572-573. ], their interests are self-image or alter-ego focused, and might refrain from sexual activities during adult baby play
[Stekel, W. (1952). Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism. Washington Square Press., pg 143, ISBN 0871408406]. In contrast, diaper lovers might have a diaper fetish
[ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text-Revised. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, pg 569-570. ], their interests are directed at a sexual fetish object, and don't inherently involve roleplay. In practice, the differences among AB/DLs are much less well-defined.
Pedophilia
Confusing infantilism with
pedophilia is a common misunderstanding
[Arndt, William B., Jr. (1991). Gender Disorders and the Paraphilias, International Universities Press, pg 394, ISBN 0823621502.]. Pedophilia is a sexual preference for children
[, tenth edition, Sect. F65.4][Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, Fourth Edition, Pg. 527]. In contrast, infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers. Generally, they have ordinary
heterosexual or
homosexual sexual experiences otherwise. Inside the AB/DL communities, a sharp distinction is observed. DPF, one of the older AB/DL organizations, will expel
child molesters.
[Gilstrap, P. (1999, March 7-11). The Diapers They Are a-Changin'. The New Times Los Angeles. Available from DPF and the website of the interviewee, Mike A.]Other infantilisms
'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to 'infantilism.' This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.'
Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism, a term coined by
Freud, referred to those who haven't "matured" through the
psychosexual stages into
heterosexuality. Psychosexual infantilism includes paraphilic infantilism as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations. Finally,
regression is a broad term with many meanings. Adult babies regress, but those who regress aren't necessarily adult babies.
Practical or voluntary use
Those who wear diapers because of
incontinence are probably not AB/DLs. While they may wear and use diapers, they aren't necessarily doing it to express an alternate self-image or indulge a fetish. This also applies to those who use diapers for practical reasons, such as
astronauts,
scuba divers, and sadomasochists. Finally, there are some who start wearing diapers as a "new
kink."
There are many that wear diapers but are not paraphilic infantilists or diaper fetishists in the strictest sense. Their motivations and underlying
mechanisms are different. However, those who share AB/DL interests and practices are generally welcome in the communities, and may sometimes be counted as AB/DLs.
Coercion
Force or
coercion is sometimes present in AB/DL fantasies.
Identification
AB/DLs may enjoy looking at pictures showing who they want to be, as opposed to who they want to be with. For example, a
heterosexual male adult baby may enjoy looking at pictures of men in diapers: he may be
imagining himself as the men in the diapers.
Permanent regression
A common fantasy among adult babies involves a permanent return to a more infantile position. This may involve being put back in diapers or returned to the
nursery for the rest of their life. These fantasies may be enjoyed even by ABs who are consciously aware that they would not want to give up their adult lives.
Modesty and
self-consciousness are not expected from infants and small children. Babies can be out in public in just a diaper and
t-shirt, and can have their diaper changed in public. Adult Babies cannot legally do these things, but may fantasize about them.
Integrating other interests
The individual AB/DL may have other interests that have become integrated with AB/DL. For example, a
sissy baby has an integrated infantilism and
transvestism. In turn, a
babyfur has an integrated infantilism and
furry fandom. Sissys and babyfurs are among many groups resulting from the integration of side-interests with infantilism. The combinations can themselves be combined in countless ways. For example, there are sissy babyfurs.
Teens whom are infantilists are referred to as Teen Babies (TB). Teens who develop an interest in infantilism do so for varying reasons, with stress or simple choice commonly cited. Infantilist teens often struggle when they begin getting urges for infantile items, treatment, or behaviour. Often, the hardest part of this struggle is telling other people about these feelings - doing so at such an important age can mean social disacceptance or even worse, parental disacceptance. Teen infantile behaviour heavily varies from simply sucking a thumb or pacifier, to wearing diapers/nappies and using bottles, to even behaviour such as wearing of infantile clothes.
Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.
Diaper usage
A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to
urinate in them, and a smaller number like to
defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or
paruresis.
A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. When adult babies do so, it is in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop
urinary incontinence. The level of enjoyment in wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects. Other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.
A difficult choice that AB/DLs must make involves who to tell about their interests. This offers the possibility of being accepted for who they are, and not having to hide. However, it also includes the risk of disgrace at home, school, and work.
Finding a "mommy" or "daddy"
A difficult part of life as an AB/DL is finding a compatible spouse. For diaper lovers, the search is difficult because there are few diaper lovers in the general population. For adult babies, the search is hard. The drive to be an adult baby is rare, and the drive to baby an adult is rarer. Female AB/DLs are not necessarily willing to be mommies. Some AB/DLs are willing to be 'switch' mommies or daddies.
For DLs, there are some
prostitutes willing to partake in diaper play. For ABs, there are professional "adult babysitters."
*
Sexual fetishism*
Paraphilia*
Diaper lover*
Sissy Baby*Friday, Nancy (c. 1980).
Men in Love: Men's Sexual Fantasies, Delacorate Press. ISBN 0385333420.
*Allen, Clifford (1969).
A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders. ISBN 0192644149.
*Love, Brenda (1992).
Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Barricade Books. ISBN 094263764X.
Websites on infantilism and diaper fetishism:
*
Understanding InfantilismAdult/teen baby and Diaper Lover community
*
Teenbabynet.org Forums and resources for Adult and teenbabies, Diaper lovers, and
baby furs.
