Love
|
The Chinese character for love (æ„›) —its parts indicating (top to bottom): That which gives breath (ie. "spirit") to the heart, with a graceful motion.
(Rose Quong - Chinese Characters:Their Wit and Wisdom) |
Love is a condition or phenomenon of emotional primacy, or absolute value. Love generally includes an emotion of intense attraction to either another person, a place, or thing; and may also include the aspect of caring for or finding identification with those objects, including
self-love. Love can describe an intense feeling of
affection, an
emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience usually felt by a person for another person. Love is commonly considered impossible to define.
The concept of love, however, is subject to debate. Some deny the existence of love. Others call it a recently invented abstraction, sometimes dating the "invention" to courtly Europe during or after the middle ages (though this is contradicted by the sizable body of
ancient love poetry). Others maintain that love really exists, is not an
abstraction, but is indefinable; being a quantity which is
spiritual,
metaphysical, or
philosophical in nature. Some psychologists maintain that love is the action of lending one's "boundary" or "
self esteem" to another. And others attempt to define love and apply the definition to everyday life.
Love has several different meanings in the English language, from something that gives a little pleasure to something for which one would die. And in contrast to the definition at the top, frequently people use the verb "love" to indicate want or desire for themselves as opposed to for another. For example: "I love that lamp" does not refer to desiring wellness for the lamp, but rather to the desire for the lamp. The word also frequently indicates elevated appreciation or admiration: "I love that artist," an individual might state.
Cultural differences make any universal definition of love difficult to establish. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, and love for the respect of others. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. Many believe, as stated originally by
Virgil, that "Love conquers all", or as stated by
The Beatles, "All you need is love".
Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of 'absolute value', as opposed to 'relative value'.
A description of love is found in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self - seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
*
Courtly love â€" a late medieval conventionalized code prescribing certain conduct and emotions for ladies and their lovers
*
Erotic love â€" affection characterized by sexual desires
*
Familial love â€" affection brokered through kinship connections, intertwined with concepts of attachment and bonding
*
Free love â€" sexual relations according to choice and unrestricted by marriage
*
Platonic love â€" a close relationship in which sexual desire is non-existent or has been suppressed or sublimated
*
Puppy love â€" romantic affection that is not "mature" or not "true." The term is often used with negative connotations, insinuating that love between youngsters is less genuine or valuable
*
Religious love â€" devotion to one's deity or theology
*
Romantic love â€" affection characterized by a mix of emotional intimacy and sexual desire
*
True love â€" love without condition, motive or attachment. Loving someone just because they are themselves, not their actions or beliefs in particular
*
Unrequited love â€" affection and desire not reciprocated or returned
Throughout history, predominantly,
philosophy and
religion have speculated the most into the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of
psychology has written a great deal on the subject. Recently, however, the sciences of
evolutionary psychology,
evolutionary biology,
anthropology,
neuroscience, and
biology have begun to take centre stage in discussion as to the nature and function of love.
Biological models of sex tend to see it as a
mammalian drive, just like
hunger or
thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon.
Psychologist Robert Sternberg created his
Triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy is a form where two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment on the other hand is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is simply sex, or passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela to further refine the model by separating Passion into two independents components: Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion.
Although there exist numerous cross-cultural unified similarities as to the nature and definition of love, as in there being a thread of commitment, tenderness, and passion common to all human existence, there are differences. For example, in
India, with arranged marriages commonplace, it is believed that love is not a necessary ingredient in the initial stages of marriage â€" it is something that can be created during the marriage; whereas in Western culture, by comparison, love is seen as a necessary prerequisite to marriage.
Love in early religions was a mixture of ecstatic devotion and ritualised obligation to idealised natural forces (pagan polytheism). Later religions shifted emphasis towards single abstractly-oriented objects like God, law, church and state (formalised monotheism).
A third view, pantheism, recognises a state or truth distinct from (and often antagonistic to) the idea that there is a difference between the worshipping subject and the worshipped object. Love is reality, of which we, moving through time, imperfectly interprete ourselves as an isolated part.
Dictionaries tend to define
love as deep affection or fondness.
[Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2000).] In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favoured definitions of
love include the words:
['04 Poll of 250 Chicagoans â€" Institute of Human Thermodynamics (Chicago)] #
life - someone or something for which you would give your life.#
care - someone or something about which you care more than yourself.#: In common use,
care refers to a mental or emotional state of predisposition in which one has an interest or concern for someone or something. To care for someone, may also refer to a disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility; or a cause for such anxiety. Caring for an object, such as a
house, refers to a state of attendant maintenance; or may also refer to a state of charge or supervision, as in under a doctor's care. #
friendship - favoured interpersonal associations or relationships.#
union - dissolution of loving subject into loved object; a hyper-real state of creative generosity.#
family - people related via common ancestry.#
bond - the inner connection when another person is a part of your identity.
Thomas Jay Oord defines love as acting intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote overall well-being. Oord means for his definition to be adequate for religion, philosophy, and the sciences.
*
Affectional orientation*
Altruism* Aspects of love
**
Admiration**
Care** Desire to
procreate**
Lust**
Respect*
Beauty*
Charisma*
Courtship*
Crush*
Dating*
Emotion*
Erotic love*
Erotomania*
Erotophobia*
Falling in love*
Flirting*
Greek words for love*
Human bonding*
Intimate relationship*
Limerence *
Love at first sight*
Love-hate relationships
*
Love letter*
Love-shyness*
Love sickness*
Lust*
Marriage*
Metta*
Personal commitment*
Personal relationship*
Persuasion*
Philia**
List of philias*
Physical attractiveness*
Platonic love*
Romance novels
*
Romanticism*
Romantic love*
Seduction*
Seduction Community*
Sex*
Triangular theory of love:* Roger Allen, Hillar Kilpatrick, and Ed de Moor, eds.
Love and Sexuality in Modern Arabic Literature. London: Saqi Books, 1995.:* Shadi Bartsch and Thomas Bartscherer, eds.
Erotikon: Essays on Eros, Ancient and Modern. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005.:* Helen Fisher.
Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love:* Gabriele Froböse, Rolf Froböse, Michael Gross (Translator):
Lust and Love: Is it more than Chemistry? Publisher: Royal Society of Chemistry, ISBN 0854048677, (2006). :* Thomas Jay Oord, Science of Love: The Wisdom of Well-Being. Philadelphia: Templeton Foundation Press, 2004.:*R. J. Sternberg.
A triangular theory of love. 1986. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135:* R. J. Sternberg.
Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. 1987. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331–345:*:* Dorothy Tennov.
Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day, 1979. ISBN 0812861345:* Dorothy Tennov.
A Scientist Looks at Romantic Love and Calls It "Limerence": The Collected Works of Dorothy Tennov. Greenwich, CT: The Great American Publishing Society (GRAMPS), [
1]:* Wood, Wood and Boyd.
The World of Psychology. 5th edition. 2005. Pearson Education, 402–403
*
Kissing, Dating, Love and Marriage*
True Love*
Love forum & resource
