Moe Szyslak
, although anyone familiar with Red and the Tube Bar tapes will immediately recognize the voice as Red's.
Moe's full name is
Momar or
Morris Szyslak (as stated by his waitress in "
Flaming Moe's"). Though popularly believed to be of
Italian descent, his
ethnicity is still unclear, with several jokes in individual episodes suggesting different ethnic backgrounds. In "Flaming Moe's", he states that his forefathers were "bartenders to the
Tsar". In a different episode, his "inner child" speaks to him with a heavy Italian accent and says "Moe, you don't-a speak-a with your-a accent no more"; after hearing his inner child, he puts both his hands on his cheeks and yells "Mamma Mia!". In the commentary to "
Who Shot Mr. Burns?" (Part 1), the creators revealed the last name Szyslak was given to him so he had the initials M.S. and could be suspected of being the one who shot Burns (it's also revealed that they came up with his last name by looking through a
Phonebook.) In
Bart-Mangled Banner, he insists he is
Dutch.While a contestant on a spoof of "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire", we learn he is from Indiana. There is also ambiguity as to what religion Moe practises, or if he practises at all. In one episode, he claims to practice
voodoo. In another, he mentions his
Moonie wedding. It is known that he was once a Christian as a part of Reverend Lovejoy's church until he was banned. However, he is regularly to be seen as part of the congregation whenever the First Church of Springfield is featured.Moe claims that, as a child, he was one of the original
Little Rascals; however, this would mean that he was born circa the 1910s, making him over ninety years old. On the other hand, flashbacks have depicted him as being comparatively young during Homer's youth. As a young man, Moe was a professional boxer named "Kid Gorgeous", although as his fights took their toll on his looks he subsequently renamed himself "Kid Presentable", "Kid Gruesome", and finally, "Kid Moe." The circumstances under which he left boxing was because he was knocked out 40 times in a row but blames it on politics ("
The Homer They Fall")
Moe is usually single, although he had a girlfriend once for a short time named Renee (voiced by
Helen Hunt; "
Dumbbell Indemnity"), as well as a girlfriend in the short "
The Love-matic Grampa". In the classic episode "
Flaming Moe's", he slept with his female fellow bartender, Colette. Moe was in love and planned to elope with
Edna Krabappel and is possibly continuing the affair as of Season 17 ("
The Seemingly Never-Ending Story"). However, since Season 5 ("
Secrets of a Successful Marriage") he has been infatuated with
Marge Simpson, whom he commonly pet-named "Midge." Moe told Marge that he did not just like her, but that he actually
loved her, in Season 16 ("
Mommie Beerest") but she explained that Homer will always be her true love. It was also during this episode where he angrily declared that "One thing Moe Szyslak has never had is a partner. Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug, or eye contact." Moe's emotional and sexual infatuation with Marge is also highlighted in episodes like "
Tales from the Public Domain","
Mommie Beerest","
The Wettest Stories Ever Told" and "
Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"". Moe is a convicted sex offender. In one classic scene at the Tavern, also featuring Homer and an anonymous drinker, the characters were sharing tales of bitter experiences with their partners when Moe shared that "the girl I'm stalkin' had me bumped back to 500 yards".
Moe regularly threatens his customers, friends, and complete strangers. He has aimed a
shotgun at Homer for not settling his bill and once even robbed Homer for his six hundred dollars pants while pointing the shotgun at him, and has also been more than willing to break Homer's legs for an insurance scam.
Although Moe is a professional bartender, he frequently appears unaware of all other
alcoholic beverages besides
beer. He is unable to mix
cocktails (he only once displays awareness of cocktails, during a visit to his old bartending college), and is surprised to learn that
gin and tonic mix together. Moe has confessed that the various
liquor bottles arranged behind the bar are in fact just painted on to the wall. He is equally confused by
wine - in a recent episode, Moe accidentally sells a bottle of
1886 Château Latour at a very low price, unaware that it was worth a small fortune.
Homer, Barney, Lenny, Carl and two rarely-speaking barflies named Sam and Larry are virtually his only customers. This has not stopped him from periodically banning them (especially Homer). He always lets them back in eventually, however.
Moe can often be seen at the forefront of the frequent mob gatherings that occur in Springfield, and appears to have a particular antipathy towards scientific theory. In one episode, Springfield unites against
Lisa Simpson who questions the veracity of an angel skeleton. In a very short time, the citizens launch a mob attack against the town's scientific institutions, and Moe decides to destroy the skeleton of a woolly mammoth at the Springfield Natural History Museum, yelling "Take that, science!" Predictably, the tusk falls off, crushing him. "Oof, I'm paralyzed," observes Moe. "I only hope medical science can cure me."
Adding to Moe's awkward, violent and often creepy behaviour are his obsessive tendencies. He's been known to stalk people around Springfield, such as the local mail lady, various celebrities, and
Maude Flanders. "
Moe Baby Blues" (Season 14) features a scene when Moe sneaks into
Maggie Simpson's bedroom at night and admits that he personalized her room with a video camera and baby monitor. However, it was revealed that his intentions were harmless, and he only wanted to protect her. More recently, it was proven that Moe stole Homer and Marge's wedding albums and had replaced all of Homer's photos with pictures of himself, fantasizing that he is married to Marge (à la horror movie
One Hour Photo). He did this in his bar while singing "
Here Comes the Bride". This is a possible reference to Season 16 ("
Mommie Beerest"). Moe also kidnaps
Talking Heads vocalist
David Byrne, only to co-produce a song with him that later receives radio airplay. In addition to his generally
neurotic behaviour, Moe openly admits that he supports every
prejudice known to man, apart from
Lisa Simpson's
iconoclasm of
Jebediah Springfield.
Moe claims that his annual Christmas tradition is to attempt
suicide. He does, in fact, support this statement by trying to kill himself in nearly every Christmas episode of
The Simpsons. However, all of these attempts backfire somehow, leaving Moe alive and even more depressed.
Moe does have a gentle side, however, having been known to read
books for sick children and
homeless people (he threatened
Ned with violence should he reveal this fact). Moe has shown a love for cats and the rats who occupy the bar. He also took part in charity work either in
South America or
Africa after stealing a flying fan, using it to fight forest fires and help deliver medical supplies to people devastated by floods. In "
Moe Baby Blues," when Moe was contemplating suicide by jumping off a bridge, he unexpectedly saved the life of
Maggie and then found meaning to his own life by looking after her. In return, Maggie shows a lot of
affection towards Moe... perhaps even more so than Homer as she quite obviously favors Moe's company. This is because Homer has a tendency to forget Maggie exists whereas Moe treats her like she's special. This has been Moe's most prominently redeeming feature to contrast his usual questionable behavior. In "
The Way We Weren't", it emerges that Moe was left at summer camp by his parents, who never came back for him.
His favorite football team, as stated in "
Sunday, Cruddy Sunday", is the
Atlanta Falcons.
In a number of episodes, it has been mentioned that Moe apparently owns a
cat named Mr. Snookums, who he cuddles and talks to in a highly sentimental and sugary manner. ("Oooh Mr. Snookums, I wuv you!")
Moe has used his bar as a front for a number of illegal businesses, including a
panda-smuggling ring, a
killer whale-smuggling ring, a
Russian roulette game (in an homage to
The Deer Hunter), an unlicensed
casino, and a
speakeasy during a brief period in which Springfield belatedly enforced
Prohibition. He has also helped to ransack all Springfield science institutes, and even (accidentally) broke into his own bar to steal the cash register amidst a town-wide riot. When Homer informed him his pants were expensive, Moe ordered him to give them to him at gunpoint, saying "Yeah, I rob now." He operates as an unlicensed
surgeon, using his own bar as an operating room, as it says on his business card "That's right, I'm a surgeon."
His claim to fame was the "Flaming Moe," a lit specialty drink whose secret ingredient is
Krusty-brand
cough syrup. The "Flaming Moe" provided the bar with one of its few brief eras of incredible success. It stood to make him a fortune, until Homer, the true inventor of the drink, exposed the secret ingredient, allowing several competitor knockoff drinks to spawn.
Moe is frequently the victim of prank
double entendre telephone calls from
Bart Simpson, often followed by a violent threat of vengeance from Moe. These prank calls were inspired by the
Tube Bar prank calls, a series of
prank calls placed in the mid-
1970s. The two callers, John Elmo and Jim Davidson, made similar calls to the owner of the Tube Bar. After Deutsch realized that the call was a joke, he would spew out a series of profanity-laced threats. The recordings of these calls were widely circulated in the
1980s and
90s. Bart's calls to Moe have asked for:
* Maya Buttreeks (
my butt reeks)
* Anita Bath (
I need a bath) (Both this and Maya Buttreeks were used by Bart as fictitious children's names when Moe was applying as a Substitute for Bart's Class in "The PTA Disbands")
* I.P. Freely (
I pee freely) (Channel 6 anchorman
Kent Brockman also uttered that name when inquiring about a source after reading the story: "A fistfight is in progress in downtown Springfield. Early reports indicate, and this is very preliminary, that one of the fighters is a
giant lizard.")
* Oliver Klozof (
all of her clothes off) (Marge heard Moe's vengeance threat; this name was also heard in an episode of
City Guys)
* Ollie Tabooger (
I'll eat a booger) (backfired; Homer was running the bar at the time and didn't understand the joke)
* Jacques Strap (
jock strap)
* Seymour Butts (
see more butts) (This is also used in
Futurama and a real-life actor with a
similarly pronounced name)
* Homer Sexual (
homosexual) (Principal Skinner heard Moe's vengeance threat)
* Mike Rotch (
my crotch) (This clip can be heard in
"Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Phony Calls.")
* Bea O'Problem (
B.O. problem)
* Amanda Huggenkiss (
A man to hug and kiss)
* Hugh Jass (
huge ass) (backfired; there was a Hugh Jass present, was in the Flaming Moe episode when the bar was crowded)
* Ivana Tinkle (
I wanna tinkle)
* Moe Lester (
molester) Moe asks for the customer, then stops and says, "wait a minute, that's me!" (suggesting that "Lester" is Moe's middle name)
* Heywood U. Cuddleme (
hey would you cuddle me?) (This prank call was done on a
telegraph, as the Simpsons were living in a house from 1895 when Bart did this one. A somewhat more gentle variant of "Heywood Jablome". The telegraphic response from Moe is equally hilarious and goes "I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific. Stop")
* I'm a stupid moron, with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt. (When, in a Halloween episode, Bart had a
Twilight Zone-esque power to transform people effectively blackmailing Moe into saying it despite the obviousness of the prank.)
* I.M Stilaweener (
I am still a wiener; In
Dial M for Moe comic.)
* Some of the prank calls Bart makes in the video game,
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants include:
**Stu Piddiddiot (
stupid idiot)
**Isobel Ringing (
Is a bell ringing?)
**Al Coholic (
alcoholic)
(This also appeared on the show, as the first prank call we see.)**I. M. Adope (
I am a dope)
*
Homer once called and asked for "Eura Snotball" (
You're a snotball), the gag intentionally backfiring so Homer can threaten Moe.
*
Mr. Burns once tried to call
Smithers when he was on vacation and typed in SMITHERS (764-8437) on his "telephone machine". This is apparently Moe's tavern's phone number, and when Burns asked for "Smithers, first name Waylon", Moe presumed it was a prank and threatened him.
This is a list of Simpsons episodes in which Moe Szyslak plays a substantial role in driving the plot, not simply a supporting role.*
Flaming Moe's (Season 3, Episode 10)
Moe hits the big time when he steals Homer's drink recipe.*
Dumbbell Indemnity (Season 9, Episode 16)
Trying to impress a new girlfriend leads Moe into insurance fraud.*
Pygmoelian (Season 11, Episode 16)
Plastic surgery allows Moe to become a soap star.*
Homer the Moe (Season 13, Episode 3)
Homer and Moe become rival bartenders when Moe's Tavern goes postmodern and Homer opens his own bar in his garage.*
Moe Baby Blues (Season 14, Episode 22)
Maggie becomes Moe's new reason for living after he saves her life.*
Mommie Beerest (Season 16, Episode 7)
Marge becomes co-owner of the bar and unlikely friend to Moe.*
The Seemingly Never-Ending Story (Season 17)
A major part of Moe's romantic life and past is revealed in this chain of stories.*
Moe'n'a Lisa (Season 18)
With the support of Lisa, Moe discovers a talent for creative writing.* Appears in The Simpsons comic series and Bart Simpson comic series.
* Stars in his own comic series with
Maggie Simpson:
Maggie & Moe Mysteries, appearing in Bart Simpson Comic #24 and Simpsons Comics #144.
* Is a playable character in the racing video game
The Simpsons Road Rage.
* Appears in
Grand Theft Auto-style video game
The Simpsons Hit & Run.
Barney Gumble
*
The Moe Szyslak File at
The Simpsons Archive*
Moe's Tavern at
Moe's Tavern
